A Very Good Week

I would be very remiss if I didn't express gratitude for a very good week. Lots of good things happened and I am feeling so humble and thankful....

-I have 8 gigs coming up, 7 of which are with my band. We have worked so hard and now there seems to be some pay off. I am grateful for the hard work of all the guys and am looking forward to sharing our music all around the valley.

-I lost my 20th pound this week!! Nuff said...

-I actually was able to hold a baby this week...the first time since, well, you know. For me, this was a huge milestone and I am so glad that I was able to do this.
I could not have done it without lots and lots of tender mercy. Whew!

-I have optimism again...no, I mean really. We are certain, certain, certain, that there is a little spirit out there looking for us. We are determined to find that little one and bring him/her home. And we have gathered up new reserves of strength! And I am really grateful for the opportunity I have to go do 2 presentations at BYU this month on adoption, thanks to my Paw-In-Law!!

So much more....I have wonderful wonderful friends who I love so much, one I am hopefully reconnecting with after so very long, others who are there for me every single day, others who I don't talk to so much, but I feel your support and love all the time. So if you don't mind me bragging a little, I am a lucky lucky girl.

Another Facebook Success Story

This is just some happiness I wanted to share.....those of you who know me well, know that there is another man in my life who means the world to me - my best friend since we were six years old, Jimmy. Unfortunately, because that's the way life works sometimes, I have not had contact with him in about 7 1/2 years. Again, if you know me really well, and it's okay if you don't know about this because I don't talk about it a lot, you know that this has caused me a lot of pain. However, I have never stopped loving him and missing him. Today, I got an invitation to be friends with him on Facebook and got to open his profile and see his wonderful self. I am so beyond, I can't even express. Tears of joy, the whole bag of chips. And may I add, it felt really good to finally cry out of happiness... Here's to rebuilding a very important part of my life! I love you, Mouse!!!

Happy Birthday...

to my beautiful, smart, talented and hilarious friend Ginnie. MARCH FORTH and have a great day Ginninator!!! I promise not to "violate" the wagon, either....at least for today.

Quite a Thursday!

Yesterday was a pretty stellar day at our house. Connor was, as we like to say in the entertainment biz, ON FIRE. All of this happened in one day, and it was wonderful. I have been sick/stressed/so-busy-I-don't-know-which-way-is-up crazy in the last few weeks, so I welcomed some comic relief. Hope you enjoy.

In the morning, we had to have our home study renewed, an annual process done by the adoption agency. For those of you unfamiliar with the terminology, that is when the case worker comes out and makes sure that you safely lock things like medicine, guns, cleaning supplies and the keys to the liquor cabinet (joking, just making sure you are paying attention) up where little ones won't be able to get to them, should they place a baby in your home. While Pam, our caseworker, was asking questions, Connor would run into the room with one of his toys (it always starts out with the quiet stuff, like his stuffed Bunny, Movie Car, then goes progressively louder, toy drill - which yes, he fired up - and ending with his tool set including hammer which he began banging as hard as he could, on the coffee table) to showcase. Finally, to keep him occupied, Lonny put his IPod headphones on Connor's ears and he sat with Daddy in his chair happily listening to tunes for a while. But apparently, he was quiet for too long and felt he had to make his presence known. All of a sudden he starts quietly singing. Then it gets a little louder. Then you can make out the words. Connor is singing "We will, we will ROCK YOU" (He proceeded to sing this all day yesterday, pretty funny stuff). I guess his message to his potential siblings out there is this...you come to live in our house and We Will Rock Your World!!!

Connor calls Diego....San Dee Lego... as in "I wanna watch San Dee Lego!" It took me a while to figure out that's what he was saying. I thought we wanted to GO to San Diego (heck, who doesn't) but that wasn't it at all. You should have seen his face light up when I figured it out!

Here's a little sample of my conversations with Connor yesterday and his newest, favorite pair of words to string together....

A: Okay little man, it's time for you to eat some breakfast....
C: Cuz why?
A: Because eating food will help you grow and make you strong.
C: Cuz why?
A: Because it's filled with nutrients and vitamins.
C: Vimamins?
A: Yes vitamins.
C: Make Connor strong?
A: Yes, exactly.
C: (Pause) Cuz why?

And that soft grindy sort of noise is the sound of what is left of my sanity, beginning to slip away.

Eating was a bit of a battle yesterday. But I was FINALLY able to figure it out. If you want to find out what Connor would like to eat, you now have to ask his stuffed Bunny. Took me almost until dinner time, but hey, I will gladly serve a fake PB&J to a stuffed bunny if it means I can get Connor to eat one too. It does en"tail" putting Bunny in his own chair with a makeshift booster seat, and a plate. All very "tea party"-esque. So I set the two of them up and left the room for a minute then heard "Mommy, Bunny not eating his dinner!" So I had to go in the room and scold Bunny as Connor solemnly looked on. I told Bunny to be a good boy and eat his dinner and gave him a kiss. Connor said "Thanks, Mom" and proceeded to eat all of his own food.

I can't figure out why I was so TIRED last night!!!

Chores

I have been trying to work a little with Connor about having some responsibilities (translation - chores, I mean after all, isn't that why you HAVE kids?) and learning a little bit about work ethic (cause his mom has such a great one, ha ha). So far his jobs include feeding the kitty cat and at least attempting to pick up his toys (which apparently, to Connor is not nearly as thrilling as giving Chole a "nack"). The other day Connor watched with great interest as his dad took his motorcycle out of the garage and gave it a good cleaning....almost time for some early spring riding, you know. When he got back inside, he decided that he wanted to clean his bike as well, give it a real good spiff up. After all it is a man's job to keep his hog looking good. Problem is, now he wants to do it everyday. If only I could get him to go at the bathroom mirrors with this much gusto! I hope he never decides to go for the old spit shine!

Completely Gratuitous

Because "Captain Bubblebeard" always makes me smile....and admit it. You can't get enough of my avocado green bathtub!

Rx for Gratitude!

My little man has been very sick the last few days...it started out with a rash on his bum-bum that turned into strep throat (how the two are connected, I don't even want to know). Things is, I never would have known Connor was sick at all, if I didn't see the rash. He didn't appear to be in any pain, and was as happy as ever. Friday night, he started to feel really warm, but that was the only indication that something was amiss. He went to the doctor on Saturday (and a shout out to Dr. "Kula", not only for being there on a Saturday, but having the coolest train set in town), and we received his diagnosis. So start the antibiotics and the bum cream! After two doses of the antibiotic (which, turns out, is NOT the yummy stuff that tastes like bubble gum) Connor announced "I all better now, Mommy, don't need no more medicine". He has been taking really long naps and a couple of times when his dad asked if he wanted to sit on his lap, he answered "No, I want Mommy" - this is how I KNOW he is sick - but that aside, he has been as active and up to his usual shenaniganariness as ever. Smiling, laughing and enjoying being Connor. And I couldn't help but think of my mom...she was sick almost every day of my life (and long before)...I barely remember her being healthy...and yet you would never know it. She endured countless heart problems, severe back pain and finally breast cancer that spread to her brain and ultimately claimed her life. But more than her illnesses, I remember a woman who was active, kind-hearted, optimistic, upbeat and a woman of great and infinite faith. She never once cursed God, felt sorry for herself and rarely complained (in fact I can only assume with all the pain she went through, that she must have....but I never heard it). She has taught me more about facing adversity (though it would seem I still need to learn much more about this) with class and dignity then anybody who ever received an award or had a movie or book made about their life. I am proud to say she is my mother, and I am proud to say that sunny, funny, happy little Connor is my son. I have much to learn from both of them. Oh, by the way, Connor still has to take his medicine. And he is getting better, in every way, each and every day.